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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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