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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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