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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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