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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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